Always the hard way . . .

So my mother once said that I always must do things the hard way, that's just me.

I guess so; I have to stop my medication for the next two months so the specialist, an endocrinologist from UCSF, can determine what's really going on. Testosterone is now normal, but two other items aren't. So they don't quite know what's going on. Odds are my boys are broke and the level of supplemental testosterone is a little too high - (hemoglobin levels of oxygen are too high) may cause cancer, diabetes, etc - so I need to go off for a bit to do monthly blood checks.

The hard part? That's being off it for two months. . . maintaining my body weight, achieving my goals with the gym, getting work done, actually wanting sex, planning and moving to Boston. . . yeah, I’m scared.

So some back story: Two years ago I/me and my ex figured out I needed to see a doctor about my low libido, lack of energy and inability to gain weight. Verdict: Low Testosterone. Cause: Unknown. Not being on medication is HELL. Not hell like Dante where you're not living and someone is stepping on your face, but still bad overall.

Yeah, I’m scared . . . going back there and dealing. But I’ve made a vow to myself. I will not change my goals or my routine. I will push through it and make myself succeed. And I'll be positive about it. I just hope it works!!! :)

More to come. . .